The World's Half-Truths For Teens Pt.2: If I Am Better I Will Be Loved

-->

The following article comes from our newest series, The World's Half-Truth's for Teens. Scott Douglass' article combats the message, "If I Am Better, I Will Be Loved" continuing an exposition of Ephesians 1:3-14. Click here for Pt.1

As we walk through what Ephesians 1, in particular v. 3-14, says to us, let’s remember first and foremost that our identity, our value, and our acceptance is based on Christ and our being found in Him.

Ephesians 1:3-14

  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

            In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Redeemed/Forgiven (v. 7) - If you are in Christ, you’re forgiven for everything you’ve done, and everything you’re going to do! Remember, this isn’t freedom to do whatever you want and take advantage of God’s grace. That’s like slacking off and banking on the smart kid to do all the work for your group project. The beauty of this is that God knows everything about you - your heart, your faults, your sin, and your shame - and in Christ He takes all of those things and erases them. Josh Harris has a great demonstration of this. In Christ, you are forgiven. The Bible uses this idea of redeemed to talk about who we are in Christ. Redeemed basically means that you have been set free by someone paying a ransom for you. A movie I loved in college was Proof of Life with Russell Crowe. In it he plays a kidnapping expert who works with a lady whose husband is being held captive. If they pay up the money, he’ll be set free. The cost is steep, and so it is with our sin. Romans tells us that the wages (what we have earned) of our sin is death. Hebrews reminds us that without blood there is no forgiveness. The problem is that the only way to pay for our sin is by blood shed. Jesus satisfies this because He dies for us, and with His blood our redemption is purchased.

Lavished (v. 8) - The description of God’s grace given to us isn’t one of a dripping faucet or even a glass of water. The idea Paul gives for us to understand God’s grace in our life is a fire house from Niagara Falls! God gives us so much grace in Christ that it covers us and swamps us and overwhelms us. John Mark McMillan describes it like this “if grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.”  We cannot fully understand God’s grace in our lives because of how overwhelming it is. And this is grace that God gives to you. Yes, you. You who were once an alien, stranger, and enemy of God. You who struggles with unknown sins to anyone else. You who has doubts, who struggles with performance expectations, and who wishes to just disappear at times. God gives you grace. Grace to live daily. Grace to persevere when things get hard. Grace to love and trust Jesus more. Grace to depend on Him for everything.

Purpose (v. 9) - Nothing happens by accident. One of the biggest lies that we’re told is that “stuff happens.” It’s simply not true. God is sovereign. Part of God’s sovereignty means that everything that happens is part of a purpose, a plan. History, your life, your friend’s life, your unborn children’s life, is going somewhere. There is a point to everything that happens in your life. You are part of God’s redemptive story, the unfolding drama of God’s activity here on earth. We entertain ourselves to death, living through social media which has redefined ‘friend’ to make it a verb, as in when you friend someone. We entertain ourselves to death by observing everything that happens around us rather than participating. God invites us to be a part of His work, not tweet about it. You were created for a purpose, for a task, for a reason. Three books that speak highly to this are Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper, Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, and Radical by David Platt. Read them, be challenged by them, and do something.

Inheritance (v. 11) - When my grandfather died he had a provision in his will for my sisters and me to receive a sum of money. It was a great blessing because that money helped us buy our first home and provided the finances for me to begin my PhD. But in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn’t that much money. Another relative died and I got to pick out a sweater of theirs I liked. At times like that I wish my last name was Gates, but oh well. Can you imagine what kind of inheritance the God of the Universe is able to give? Do you think there’s any way to get your head around the amount? But that is what you are promised by God in Christ. We stand to receive an inheritance from the King - and Heaven, with all its promised beauty and splendor,  is only a glimpse of that.

Hope (v. 12) - I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched people chase after a hope that fails them. Whether it’s a scholarship, a leadership position, a spot on the roster, or even their driver’s license, so many times those hopes fail us. The reality is, everything we place our hope in apart from Christ will at some point let us down. But the good news is that Jesus is the hope that never disappoints, always delivers, and gives us far more than a scholarship or roster spot ever could. Hope gives us the motivation to go on. People who get lost in the wilderness cling to the hope of rescue. There are stories from disasters like wars that talk about how those with hope are able to endure the hardship and make it out - while those without hope often fulfill their own doom and gloom. You don’t have to worry or freak out over the scholarships, the performance, the need to be perfect on the field, or the need to be someone you’re not. Jesus has done all that for you. Your hope is in Him.

Sealed (v. 13) - Lastly, this passage talks about how we are sealed by the Holy Spirit. There’s a hymn with the line “no power of Hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand,” and that demonstrates the power of God to keep us. We buy into the performance lie whenever we tell ourselves that we must do something in order to keep someone or be accepted. That’s why so many teens become sexually active, because they’ve bought into the lie that sex = love. That’s why so many become addicted to drugs like Xanax or Adderol, because they’ve bought into the lie that performance or happiness = success. When we replace God with some other substitute, we realize how slippery a grip we have on that substitute. Do you remember the rope climb in gym class? I hated it. I never could get a good grip on the rope and so I could never make it very high. My hands would keep slipping. So many of us are in the same boat when it comes to our life. But the promise of God is this: in Christ, there is no way to break the bond between us and God (want proof? Read Romans 8:31-39). The Holy Spirit seals us with a stronger grip than we can ever break.

Child of God, my prayer for you is this: that you would find your satisfaction, your hope, your joy, your peace, your fulfillment, your acceptance, and your value in Christ alone. My prayer is that you would ignore the voices around you that tell you to substitute Jesus for something else that over-promises and under-delivers. My prayer for you, dear Christian, is to not base your life on a lie of performance but to take deep roots in the grace of Christ. My prayer, beloved, is to live a holy life but to recognize that there is nothing you can do to cause God to no longer love you. My prayer, brother and sister, is to see who you are through the lens of Christ, not the person next to you.

Scott Douglas serves as the Minister to Youth at Westside Baptist Church in Murray, KY. Scott has a Masters in Divinity and is presently pursuing a Doctorate degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.

The World's Half-Truths For Teens Pt.1: If I Am Better I Will Be Loved

The following article comes from our newest series, The World's Half-Truth's for Teens. Scott Douglass' article combats the message, "If I Am Better, I Will Be Loved."

“I wish I was better looking”

“I wish I was smarter”

“If only I could do…”

“If only I hadn’t done…”

“Why couldn’t I be…?”

“I guess I’m not good enough/smart enough”

“I need to get my life right before I can…”

One of the hardest parts of student ministry is to hear the despair in students. They are broken over things like past sins, current struggles, regrets, but most of all they are broken and distraught over the performance mentality that so dominates their life. It consumes them, because the smartest get the scholarships, the best athletes get the attention, the most active get the class superlative, and everywhere they look there’s someone prettier, someone stronger, someone faster, someone who’s more serious about their faith, someone who can do or know something they cannot. And in the performance culture, this quickly escalates to hopelessness.

Spiritually though, this can be more than disappointing, it can be devastating. When students buy into the myth that their performance leads to their acceptance or value before God, the result is a constant pursuit of “do better, try harder, be gooder.” Because performance is so tied to value, the system that dictates class rank, playing time, and community attention is carried over to their faith. Rather than seeing themselves rooted and grounded in the work of Christ, students substitute that for a Deceiver who whispers to them “you’re not good enough to be a Christian, you need to do better to be accepted by God, you know if you don’t do everything the way you’re supposed to then you’re nothing but a fraud.”

I love the book of Ephesians. I spent a semester teaching through it, and would love to dedicate longer to it in the future. I continually come back to Ephesians 1 as a tremendously valuable passage of Scripture in helping students see who they are in Christ. At the core of this myth is an identity problem. Students who buy into the performance mentality believe that their identity is connected to what they do (or, what they don’t do). As we walk through what Ephesians 1, in particular v. 3-14, says to us, let’s remember first and foremost that our identity, our value, and our acceptance is based on Christ and our being found in Him.

            Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

            In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

           

Chosen (v. 3) - God has chosen to have a relationship with you, yes you. The God of the universe, in grace and love, wanted to have a relationship with you and pursued you with the love of Christ. You are valuable to God in Christ. You don’t have to be a blue chip recruit or an All-American to be ‘drafted’ by God. He chooses you to be a friend and does so in His kindness through Christ. In verse 11 Paul uses the term “predestined” to describe us. Basically, that means that God, in wisdom and love, has decided to pursue you and draw you to Himself for His glory and for the blessing of others.

Holy & Blameless (v. 4) - In Christ, we’re no longer seen in our stains, guilt, and shame. Instead, God sees us as He does Jesus - in all His righteousness. You are made right with God. Romans 8:1 declares that there is now no condemnation for those in Christ. You are not the mistakes you’ve made, nor the things you’re able to do or not able to, you are in Christ and therefore you are holy.

Adopted (v. 5) - Don’t ever fail to be amazed by this. God not only calls us friends in Christ, not only does He forgive us and give us a new hope, but He adopts us. You, as a Christian, have God as your Father. He has brought you near to Him. No matter if you had a great family or if your family belongs on Jerry Springer, in Christ you are given a whole new identity and you have the God of the Universe as your Father. You are loved and valued and accepted by God because He has decided to adopt you and make you His child.

Blessed (v. 6) - We find our blessing in the Beloved (aka Jesus), in whom we have everything we need. Regardless of whether you grew up rich or poor, in a single-parent home or stable family, if you have new shoes or have to buy from consignment, if you go to a great school or to one that rewards you for not getting arrested/pregnant, you have everything you need in Jesus. When our needs/wants are shifted from what we think we must have to what God does, it changes our perspective. Psalm 37:4 says this “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” When our primary place of delight, joy, and satisfaction is in God, everything else falls into place.

(Thursday's post will continue helping us understand the lies we believe with The World's Half-Truths For Teens: If I Am Better I Will Be Loved Pt.2)

Scott Douglas serves as the Minister to Youth at Westside Baptist Church in Murray, KY. Scott has a Masters in Divinity and is presently pursuing a Doctorate degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.

Confessions of a Small Town Student Pastor

Every now and then we take our regular worship service and change things up. I give our band a night off to thank them for their hard work and to create an environment that doesn’t become dependent on something else besides the Word taught. Typically we do a time of prayer that involve several stations to engage them in repentance, thanksgiving, service, and supplication. I usually ask them to write out their prayers. I think writing prayer helps to process what you’re praying for rather than a series of ‘dear Lord’-s. This past time I had them write out their sin they wanted to confess on black paper with a dark pencil and tape it to the cross, after they had read 1 Peter 2:21-25.

Now confession time: I read the pieces of paper. This is as old a youth minister trick as the caramel covered onion or the camp roommate assignment list. It provides an immediate and anonymous look into the lives of students, to give a window into what prayer needs are there in our student ministry. It’s beautiful, but it’s heartbreaking.

We serve in a typical American small town. Most of the businesses are locally-owned, it’s impossible to find a good cup of coffee (I miss Starbucks), the school systems are the predominant social group, and when an accident happens on the main road it can tie up the entire town. Our town hosts a regionally known Division I university, and is the primary education seat of our region. We were also voted last year as the “Friendliest Small Town in America” by Randy-McNally. The summer focused on a special election about making our town wet, which prompted the opposing side to declare our town a good old-fashioned American town, the one that loves family values and is a good, morally sound community.

But that image of Mayberry is not what I read on those slips of paper. Most of them were your standard teenage angst: rude to parents, talking about other people, dating one guy and being interested in another, struggling with siblings, and not focusing on school as much. But there were some that hurt to read. A girl who cuts and covers it by bullying. Several guys who admitted to pornography. One who admitted to repeated inappropriate text messages to different girls. Still others who admitted to pot, alcohol, and other substance issues. Broken relationships. Sexual promiscuity. Dysfunctional family situations. Same-sex attraction. You name it, it’s sitting on my dining room table, the tears and shame visibly evident.

The veneer of our community, and even our church and student ministry, is one where everything is ok. But behind that good face is an indescribable hurt. One that is being masked by a fig leaf of religiosity - or worse yet, the false promise of an insecure salvation. None of the self-help, guidance counseling, crisis intervention, or anything like that can solve this pain. Only Jesus can.

So what to do? What follows is at attempt to process all this and offer some prescription for us in smaller communities.

Pray - Intercede for these students, pray for wisdom for parents, pray for repentance, pray for God to increase grace.

Don’t be naive - We cannot pretend that these kinds of problems belong ‘over there,’ and miss out on reality. These problems aren’t city problems or poor problems or ethnic problems. They’re problems that come from a Deceiver who wants teenagers to believe something else besides Jesus will satisfy them.

Address the heart of the issue - The issue isn’t drugs or alcohol or peer pressure. The issue is the heart, one that is bent against God. Make sure to not lose sight of this and try to fix addiction, self-harm, etc. The first need is Jesus. Then work on everything else in light of that.

Be honest - I plan on sharing that I read the cards, and begin by offering myself and my wife as resources. Knowledge isn’t power, only knowledge that is used has any value. I could choose to overlook these findings, or choose to respond to them. These issues are very real and painful - to ignore them is a shameful act.

Involve parents - Small town ministries may find themselves fighting against a cultural Christianity, rather than an emphasis on the work of Christ. Many times my thought is that parents assume their kids are safe/fine/good. But meet with your parents and begin to bring them on board. Take time to pray for students. Maybe they’re even hiding knowledge of their teen’s problems because of shame. Remove that, and every other barrier that prevents the Spirit from working.

Refocus - Take a minute and assess if you’re teaching accurately about the power of the Gospel. Make every message, teaching time, devotion, etc. about the Gospel. Teach the all-inclusive and all-encompassing power of the Gospel to not only save the soul but provide the answer to the deepest conditions of the human heart.

Pray - Worth repeating.

Seek wisdom - Student ministers, remember: we’re not Superman. Bring in other godly leaders who have likely dealt with similar issues. Get yourself in a network, get in contact with older student ministers. Involve your pastor in the conversation. Whatever you do, do not do it alone!

Scott Douglas serves as the Minister to Youth at Westside Baptist Church in Murray, KY. Scott has a Masters in Divinity and is presently pursuing a Doctorate degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.

Teaching Teenagers

Teaching teenagers is different from teaching any other age group because of the unique developmental paradigm they find themselves in – adolescence, the apex of the “already but not yet” of cognitive, spiritual, and emotional development, adults in many ways but without the wisdom of life lived. So youth ministers find themselves in a tricky spot, having students who desire depth and insight and who are bored with the fluff of weak Bible teaching, but who may or may not be ready to handle the implications of those deep doctrinal issues. These principles are helpful to guide your pursuit of biblically faithful teaching to your students.

1) Don’t take for granted what they know

The majority of our students in our youth ministry are “church kids” who grew up regularly attending church. Maybe that’s your group too. But one thing that I’ve learned that I can’t take for granted anymore is how much of the Bible they know. Here’s a website with some common Bible misquotes. It’s always a working assumption for me when I teach to assume nothing and build up from the ground floor. For a few weeks we went through a children’s story Bible to illustrate the continuous thread of Scripture and because many of them didn’t know the basics of the biblical metanarrative. When doing a series through a book/theme, always come back to the basics to reinforce the content.

2) Don’t lowball them – they’re capable of far more than the church gives them credit for.

This sounds antithetical to the previous point, but it’s really not. So many youth studies I’ve seen from a variety of publishers look and sound more like they’re designed for 3rd graders than high schoolers. Just because many Christian teenagers don’t have a broad biblical base doesn’t mean they’re not capable of handling significant issues and doctrines; they just need to be brought along with wisdom and care. The corollary to this is to expect more of students than most churches admit. I joke with our group that most adults are happy if they’re “coming to church, staying off meth, and not getting pregnant.” Don’t low-ball your students. Take them on mission trips, encourage them to invest in their schools and community, expect more than showing up for church on time and bringing their Bible. Churches, your teenagers are young adults, give them opportunity to serve and give them a big vision. Expect more from your teenagers, you would be surprised what they can do.

3) If you challenge them, they’ll rise to it

Last year we went through Ephesians with our group, and I challenged them to memorize 3:14-21. I had no idea what the response would be, and as an incentive I offered our next trip covered as part of it. After a couple weeks, several students had memorized that passage. I had told them no mistakes could be in their quote, and I only had one who had to re-do it (which he did, he wanted to nail it!). Maybe the motivation was to get a free trip, and I ended up having to find money in our budget to cover the response. But the great thing is, every one of them is still memorizing Scripture and living on mission. Later that year we took a big mission trip, and the students who went raised or worked for every penny of their trip. What are you challenging your students to accomplish? In the words of William Carey, attempt great things for God, expect great things from God.

4) Keep one theme central

You put the time in to study and prepare your message, and then you see it: the blank stare of 30 teenagers that a black hole would fear. I noticed that my messages were too much, I had several main points and couldn’t bring everything under one thesis. My goal when writing a message is to be able to sum it up with the “sermon in a sentence,” which is the distillation of the message. If I can’t, it’s too much and needs cutting.

5) Don’t be afraid to talk theology

Sometimes in student ministry we look at theology like we would a cobra, something to keep a close eye on and never get close to. But I contend that we should include but ground our ministries in theology. Not to the point where we argue over minutia and create unnecessary division, but we should seek to introduce students to the language of theology. Sadly, often we water down the content to a lowest common denominator in an attempt to attract and retain students. Then, in college a religion professor uses enough theological language to sound like an unparalleled expert, and many times the student questions the milk he was given in his church to the point they walk away from Jesus. Dig their roots deep, and equip them well: this is an eternity issue.

What other ways have you found to engage youth in learning Scripture?

Scott Douglas serves as the Minister to Youth at Westside Baptist Church in Murray, KY. Scott has a Masters in Divinity and is presently pursuing a Doctorate degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.