Confessions of a Small Town Student Pastor

Every now and then we take our regular worship service and change things up. I give our band a night off to thank them for their hard work and to create an environment that doesn’t become dependent on something else besides the Word taught. Typically we do a time of prayer that involve several stations to engage them in repentance, thanksgiving, service, and supplication. I usually ask them to write out their prayers. I think writing prayer helps to process what you’re praying for rather than a series of ‘dear Lord’-s. This past time I had them write out their sin they wanted to confess on black paper with a dark pencil and tape it to the cross, after they had read 1 Peter 2:21-25.

Now confession time: I read the pieces of paper. This is as old a youth minister trick as the caramel covered onion or the camp roommate assignment list. It provides an immediate and anonymous look into the lives of students, to give a window into what prayer needs are there in our student ministry. It’s beautiful, but it’s heartbreaking.

We serve in a typical American small town. Most of the businesses are locally-owned, it’s impossible to find a good cup of coffee (I miss Starbucks), the school systems are the predominant social group, and when an accident happens on the main road it can tie up the entire town. Our town hosts a regionally known Division I university, and is the primary education seat of our region. We were also voted last year as the “Friendliest Small Town in America” by Randy-McNally. The summer focused on a special election about making our town wet, which prompted the opposing side to declare our town a good old-fashioned American town, the one that loves family values and is a good, morally sound community.

But that image of Mayberry is not what I read on those slips of paper. Most of them were your standard teenage angst: rude to parents, talking about other people, dating one guy and being interested in another, struggling with siblings, and not focusing on school as much. But there were some that hurt to read. A girl who cuts and covers it by bullying. Several guys who admitted to pornography. One who admitted to repeated inappropriate text messages to different girls. Still others who admitted to pot, alcohol, and other substance issues. Broken relationships. Sexual promiscuity. Dysfunctional family situations. Same-sex attraction. You name it, it’s sitting on my dining room table, the tears and shame visibly evident.

The veneer of our community, and even our church and student ministry, is one where everything is ok. But behind that good face is an indescribable hurt. One that is being masked by a fig leaf of religiosity - or worse yet, the false promise of an insecure salvation. None of the self-help, guidance counseling, crisis intervention, or anything like that can solve this pain. Only Jesus can.

So what to do? What follows is at attempt to process all this and offer some prescription for us in smaller communities.

Pray - Intercede for these students, pray for wisdom for parents, pray for repentance, pray for God to increase grace.

Don’t be naive - We cannot pretend that these kinds of problems belong ‘over there,’ and miss out on reality. These problems aren’t city problems or poor problems or ethnic problems. They’re problems that come from a Deceiver who wants teenagers to believe something else besides Jesus will satisfy them.

Address the heart of the issue - The issue isn’t drugs or alcohol or peer pressure. The issue is the heart, one that is bent against God. Make sure to not lose sight of this and try to fix addiction, self-harm, etc. The first need is Jesus. Then work on everything else in light of that.

Be honest - I plan on sharing that I read the cards, and begin by offering myself and my wife as resources. Knowledge isn’t power, only knowledge that is used has any value. I could choose to overlook these findings, or choose to respond to them. These issues are very real and painful - to ignore them is a shameful act.

Involve parents - Small town ministries may find themselves fighting against a cultural Christianity, rather than an emphasis on the work of Christ. Many times my thought is that parents assume their kids are safe/fine/good. But meet with your parents and begin to bring them on board. Take time to pray for students. Maybe they’re even hiding knowledge of their teen’s problems because of shame. Remove that, and every other barrier that prevents the Spirit from working.

Refocus - Take a minute and assess if you’re teaching accurately about the power of the Gospel. Make every message, teaching time, devotion, etc. about the Gospel. Teach the all-inclusive and all-encompassing power of the Gospel to not only save the soul but provide the answer to the deepest conditions of the human heart.

Pray - Worth repeating.

Seek wisdom - Student ministers, remember: we’re not Superman. Bring in other godly leaders who have likely dealt with similar issues. Get yourself in a network, get in contact with older student ministers. Involve your pastor in the conversation. Whatever you do, do not do it alone!

Scott Douglas serves as the Minister to Youth at Westside Baptist Church in Murray, KY. Scott has a Masters in Divinity and is presently pursuing a Doctorate degree from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.

Ministry Across America: American South

1.) Please describe the context in which you minister (geographically, ethnically, socio-economically, etc.)
I serve in the American South in a suburban context in Birmingham, AL. My students are almost entirely white and upper-middle class to affluent. Attending church is a major social expectation. Whether it is accurate or not, nearly all of the kids in my context identify themselves as a Christian.

2.) What are your students biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to receiving the Gospel?
Students in the South equate church attendance with being a Christian and having salvation. Compulsive cultural Christianity rules the day. They embrace the religious elements of the faith without understanding the central elements of Christianity being about living in relationship with God and of Christ coming into the world to save sinners.

3.) How do teenagers in your region feel about the Church and Christianity as a whole?
Teenagers generally have a positive view of the Church and Christianity. At the same time, while they do not express this, their views and behavior suggest that they view church as a cultural compulsion, that you "just do." ("We go because we go. Right?") Many of the anti-institutional rejections of Christianity seen in other parts of America have not surfaced in a major way down here.


4.) What perceptions and reactions do teenagers in your area have to Christian morality?
Christian morality very often boils down to drinking or not drinking alcohol underaged in high school with kids in the Deep South. A-Team Christian teens do not drink, while second-stringers do, in their eyes. Not drinking makes you good, while drinking means you are not serious about God. Many kids in the South oppose gay marriage and homosexuality but their views on this originate more in "red state" political ideology than a developed biblical theology. Given the traditionally conservative socio-poltical mentality in the Deep South, most teens generally do not have a problem with biblical morality. I will say, though, that over the eight years of my ministry, kids are becoming increasingly geared toward morally relative thinking than when I first started. 

5.) What approaches have you found helpful in dealing with the aforementioned stumbling blocks such that you effectively can share the Gospel with students in your area and bring them in to the life of the Church?
When sharing the Gospel with kids both individually and corporately, I tend to speak in terms of being perfect vs. imperfect before God, rather than sinful or good. So many kids think the formula for salvation is church attendance plus being a good person. They do not understand that the standard for salvation is perfect righteousness, which only can come externally through faith in Jesus. Few kids in the South will accept that they are not good, but nearly everyone will accept that they are not perfect. Therefore, I try to communicate that the only way to be in relationship with God and to have salvation is to be made perfect, something only God can do for you and of which a person is wholly incapable. ("Hell is filled with 'good people,' but heaven contains only absolutely perfect people."


6.) What encouragement would you give to other youth pastors in your area trying to reach teenagers?
I would encourage youth pastors and parents in two ways. First, you need to understand that in the American South seventy-five percent of your work involves deconstructing false belief related to Christianity. You have to constantly remind kids that the faith is about a relationship, not religion. You have to constantly debunk the idea that Christian is a moral code for practical living rather than an invitation to live in dependent relationship with the Lord of the universe. You have to distinguish between biblical theology and Republican socio-political ideology. (Yes, many kids think that anything associated with Republican political ideology, such as gun control, has its roots in Christian theology.)

Secondly, I would encourage youth pastors that we do have a great blessing in the way that kids have a mostly positive view of the church in the South, as compared to other regions of the country. My friends in other regions face enormous struggles in just getting kids to consider attending anything associated with a church. Southern youth workers face less resistance and do not have to work as hard to build trust and overcome deep prejudices against the church.

Cameron Cole is the chairman of Rooted: A Theology Conference for Student Ministry and the Director of Student Ministries at the Cathedral Church of the Advent in Birmingham, AL. He is a candidate for a Masters in Religion from Reformed Theological Seminary.