The blog for the White Horse Inn recently published this piece by Rooted contributor, Cameron Cole. Many thanks to the White Horse Inn for their efforts to bring light to theological issues in youth ministry.
A recent conversation I had with a suburban nanny brought to light an
alarming trend in teen culture. While the child is too young to clearly
articulate his inner turmoil, his nanny described in him a deep sense
of isolation and estrangement in addition to anger and resentment toward
his parents and situation. Beyond the primary element of her job, which
involves driving the child to various artistic, academic, and athletic
pursuits after school, the nanny characterized her job as similar to
working with an orphan.
Now, I am not describing a child who is a victim of desperate
poverty, a deadly epidemic, or a violent war and has found refuge in an
orphanage. I am telling the narrative of a suburban American pre-teen
who has access to every conceivable material want and life opportunity.
Recent research in the social psychology of American teens identifies
this child’s anguish, not as an exceptional circumstance, but as more of
a norm.
Researchers have committed much study to the trend of abandonment in
teen culture. The literature has identified an intense sense of
disconnection and isolation among teens in their family and community
systems. While researchers consider high-rates of divorce and general
family dysfunction as contributing factors, the primary variable among
teens with symptoms of abandonment is over-programming and
performance-based lifestyles.
David Elkind of Tufts University has dedicated over two decades to
following this trend in parenting. Elkind notes that most parents focus
on the competence of their child as a performer in the market place as
their central mission; the primary role as a parent becomes one of
strategic development. During the course of his research on this issue,
Elkind documents an intensification of the problem as over-programming
increases.
While Elkind describes youth who have been formed in this manner as the “hurried child,” Chap Clark, in his book
Hurt,
affirms this trend but chooses to use the term “the abandoned child.”
He writes, “We have evolved to the point where we believe driving is
support, being active is love, and providing any and every opportunity
is selfless nurture … Even with the best of intentions, the way we
raise, train, and even parent our children today exhibits attitudes and
behaviors that are simply subtle forms of parental abandonment.
“[1] Elkind’s
terminology focuses more on the means of parenting (over-programming)
and Clark’s descriptor elucidates the results (isolation).
Certainly people can evaluate accurately this issue from various
angles (psychology, sociology, education, etc.). From a theological
position, this parenting style reflects the natural result of life lived
intensely under the law. When I mention law in this context, I do not
refer to the moral code but to a pattern of life focused on living up to
standards through personal performance and effort. A standard of false
righteousness- child competence – exists in the culture, and adults
employ whatever necessary means (math tutors, batting coaches, personal
trainers, academic camps, intense schedules, etc.) to maximize their
child’s performance that they may satisfy the expectations. The standard
may manifest itself in language such as, “I want my child to have every
opportunity,” or “I want more for my children,” but producing
“successful” children constitutes the core hope. This mentality
practically plays out in twelve year olds bouncing from early morning
swim practice to school to piano to Boy Scouts to homework to bed as a
normalized routine.
Scripture tells us that a life defined by the law yields alienation
from God and man, as one sinks into a lonely, self-absorbed pursuit of
perfection. In contrast, the Gospel of grace draws one out of alienation
and into fellowship with God and neighbor. In the Gospel the onus of
perfection shifts to Christ, and one is freed to enjoy relationship with
God and others.
Understanding the pervasiveness of this trend among American teens
compels those ministering to youth (parents, youth pastors, teachers, et
al.) to recognize the law-driven nature of the culture and to offer the
freedom of the Gospel. In addition to this, discussion of spiritual
adoption may have more relevance in this context than any other element
of salvation. The Father’s role in salvation as the one who adopts
justified sinners as sons and daughters resonates with students
struggling with a sense of abandonment. The idea of a Perfect Parent who
offers free love and constant presence and who calls for rest, rather
than effort, provides a sense of relief for students who often live
under pressure.
Adoption calls individuals out of isolation and into God’s Kingdom and family. As John says in
1 John 1:2-3,
The life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and
testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the
Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen
and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship
with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son
Jesus Christ.”
This adopting love, made manifest through Christ, not only brings
people into union with God but also into the fellowship of the saints.
Certainly all benefits of salvation have relevance to all generations
in all contexts. At the same time, in the context of American teen
culture, emphasis on the Father adopting sinners and delivering the
isolated into a fellowship provides great hope to a generation of
estranged teens.
Cameron Cole serves as the chairman of Rooted: A Theology
Conference for Student Ministry, which will host its conference, themed
Adopted: The Beauty of Grace, at the Cathedral Church of the Advent in
Birmingham, Alabama on August 9-11. The conference will focus on the
Gospel of grace and message of adoption to a generation of alienated
teenagers. Those interested can learn more at www.rootedconference.com and can follow the Rooted blog at www.therootedblog.blogspot.com.
The protagonist in the movie Hugo offers valuable insight
into the primal motivation at the core of every soul. Hugo, an orphan
in Paris, engages in a persistent – almost obsessive – endeavor to
repair an automaton, which his father worked on before dying during
Hugo’s childhood. Unknown to the audience for much of the movie, Hugo’s
project is driven by the hope of discovering a message from his late
father to him, hidden within the machine.